Saturday, March 28, 2009

Kids Jokes

A FEW QUICK CRAZY NAMES
1 Q: What do you call a woman with a sinking ship on her head?
A: Mandy Lifeboats!
2 Q: What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on her head playing snooker?
A: Beatrix Potter!
3 Q: What do you call a lion with toothache?
A: Rory!
4 Q: What do you call a man with a big truck on his head?
A: Laurie!
5 Q: What do you call a man with turf on his head?
A: Pete!
6 Q: What do you call the ghost who haunts TV shows?
A: Phantom of the Oprah!
7 Q: What kind of illness does Bruce Lee get?
A: Kung Flu!
8 Q: What do you call a man who doesn't sink?
A: Bob!
9 Q: What do you call a Rodent that has a sword?
A: A Mouseketeer!
10 Q: What do you call the bad lion tamer?
A: Claude Bottom!

THE STRING IN THE TAIL

Two pieces of string meet one day in the park and while one goes on the slide the other goes on the swings. They're having a great time until one string decides to go on the roundabout.
After a while, the string feels really dizzy and falls off, scraping across the tarmac and making as tangled mess of one end and falling in a heap. The second string looked at him and sighed "you're not very good on that roundabout are you?"
The first string looked at himself and said "I'm a frayed knot".


THE QUESTIONS FOR INQUIRING MINDS

1 Q: Why did the King go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned.
2 Q: What do you call a three legged donkey?
A: A wonkey.
3 Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!
4 Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk.
5 Q: why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools.
6 Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white?
A: A zebra caught in a revolving door.
7 Q: What do dogs eat at the cinema?
A: Pup-corn!
8 Q: What's a snakes favourite subject in class?
A: Hissssstory.
9 Q: Why do monkeys have big noses?
A: Because they've got big fingers.
10 Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: a bulldozer!

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